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比尔•盖茨教学生做人语录

原创 IT生活 作者:cosmoboy 时间:2004-10-31 20:28:00 0 删除 编辑

     最经跟朋友聊起来关于智商和情商的事情,干软件开发久了,似乎在情商上退步比较明显。在处理一些事情的时候表现的不是很合理。虽说技术人员就应该给客户一种很单纯的技术专家形象,与市场人员应该具有不同的气质,然而如果表现得过于特力独行,是非常不宜于团队的。

   Bill 可谓情商与智商完美结合的典范。可惜没有发现英文原版的。

[@more@]

    尔盖兹在某个大学毕业典礼上的演讲中,对毕业生提出十一项极为睿智的人生建议与毕业同学共勉之:
 
1.人生是不公平的,习惯接受吧。 

2.这个世界并不在乎你的自尊,只在乎你做出来的成绩,然后再去强调你的感受。 

3.你不会一离开学校就有百万年薪、你不会马上就是拥有公司配属手机的副总裁,二者你都必须靠努力赚来。 

4.如果你觉得你的老板很凶,等你做了老板就知道,老板是没有工作任期保障的。 

5.在快餐店打工并不可耻,你的祖父母对煎汉堡有不同的看法:机会。 

6.如果你一事无成,不是你父母的错,所以不要对自己犯的错发牢骚,从错误中去学习。 

7.在你出生前,你的父母并不像现在这般无趣,他们变成这样是因为忙着付你的开销、洗你的衣服、听你吹嘘你有多了不起。 所以在你拯救被父母这代人破坏的热带雨林前 先整理一下自己的房间吧。 

8.在学校里可能有赢家输家,在人生中却还言之过早。学校会不断给你机会找到正确答案,真实人生中却完全不是这么回事。 

9.人生没有寒暑假,人生不是学期制,没有哪个雇主有兴趣帮你寻找自我,请用自己的时间来做这件事吧。 

10.电视上演的并非真实人生。现实生活中每人都要离开咖啡馆去工作。 

11.对书呆子好一点,你未来很可能就为其中一个工作。 

ps:

some joks about Bill.

Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General Motors. The comparison went like this:

If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. (160,000km/hr)

Or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds (14 kilos) and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50.

In response to all this goading, GM issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microshaft has, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:"

  1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash at least twice a day.
  2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
  3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no apparent reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
  4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to start, in which case you would have to re-install the engine.
  5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT'. Then you would have to buy more seats.
  6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
  7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
  8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
  9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
  10. Occasioanlly, for no known reason, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
  11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither want them or need them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by fifty percent or more.
  12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
  13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.



NEWS FLASH!

Microsoft Addresses Justice Department Accusations

REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum.

"It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth", said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, "It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone".

Microsoft representatives held a briefing in the oval office of the White House with U.S. President Bill Clinton, and assured members of the press that changes will be "minimal". The United States will be managed as a wholly owned division of Microsoft. An initial public offering is planned for July of next year, and the federal government is expected to be profitable by "Q4 1999 at latest", according to Microsoft president Steve Ballmer.

In a related announcement, Bill Clinton stated that he had "willingly and enthusiastically" accepted a position as a vice president with Microsoft, and will continue to manage the United States government, reporting directly to Bill Gates. When asked how it felt to give up the mantle of executive authority to Gates, Clinton smiled and referred to it as "a relief". He went on to say that Gates has a "proven track record", and that U.S. citizens should offer Gates their "full support and confidence". Clinton will reportedly be earning several times the $200,000 annually he has earned as U.S. president, in his new role at Microsoft.

Gates dismissed a suggestion that the U.S. Capitol be moved to Redmond as "silly", though did say that he would make executive decisions for the U.S. government from his existing office at Microsoft headquarters. Gates went on to say that the House and Senate would "of course" be abolished. "Microsoft isn't a democracy", he observed, "and look how well we're doing".

When asked if the rumored attendant acquisition of Canada was proceeding, Gates said, "We don't deny that discussions are taking place".

Microsoft representatives closed the conference by stating that United States citizens will be able to expect lower taxes, increases in government services and discounts on all Microsoft products.

About Microsoft ...
Founded in 1975, Microsoft (NASDAQ "MSFT") is the worldwide leader in software for personal computers, and democratic government. The company offers a wide range of products and services for public, business and personal use, each designed with the mission of making it easier and more enjoyable for people to take advantage of the full power of personal computing and free society every day.

About the United States ...
Founded in 1789, the United States of America is the most successful nation in the history of the world, and has been a beacon of democracy and opportunity for over 200 years. Headquartered in Washington, D.C., the United States is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft Corporation.

"The United States of America" and "Microsoft" are registered trademarks of Microsoft® Corporation.

Author: Darrin Costantini at ROC_PO01




There are three engineers in a car, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft® engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft® engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion. "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work!?"





Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God...

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"

God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

"Okay then," said Bill, "let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told God. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!"

"Fine" said God, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God.

"Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.

Bill responded with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water????"

"That", replied God, "was the demo".






One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.

"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a parachute, too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped.

The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane."

The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, pop. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."


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