Became a team lead/project manager 2 years ago, I told the team several times that (1) I am a professional person and (2) I am expecting professional communication instead of getting personal. Before the incident, I have no idea that I am so personal.
One day, one team member, say John, was working on one assignments. He was convinced based on his investigation and his experiences that something couldn't and shouldn't deleted. On the other hand, I knew that we should delete them. This was why I spent a lot of time explaining which quickly turned into arguing. Then at some point, it got personal: 'I don't know. If you couldn't prove that we should delete it, I will never delete it!' John said. I got a little angry because I did get enough respect as I expected. 'No problem! I will prove it to you!' I responded and sat down his chair starting proving. Of course, I proved that I was right and he was wrong. Well, what happened next was he sat down back to his chair starting coding based on the new findings. At my end, I was still a little emotional. Strangely, I accepted the emotion and, quietly, walked back to my cubicle.
As usual, I will be starting lecturing about what we should do, how and so on. This time, I kind of shut up and forgot it never happened. Of course, John's performance is so good.
There is no doubt that my belief changed a little bit since then: For people with talents, what you can be is just catalyst or simply helper to focus them on what they do best. Arguments are inevitable and don't take it personally.
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