Each one of us has different value system. If everyone sticks to his value system and do not want to use it on others, the world can become so much simpler. Sadly, most of us will use our value system to judge others' behaviors. There is nothing wrong of doing this, EXCEPT you are managing.
I don't remember how many times I challenged a team member about the 'unexpected behaviors' and eventually had to apologize about the misjudgment. However, it didn't draw too much attention from myself because it didn't happen that often.
While even I am a optimistic man, apologizing a lot didn't make me feel so good as a manager (I do want to be perfect). Then I started to think about it and deal with the same issue differently.
For example, I asked a member, say Jack, to help out an assignments of another member who asked leave in the afternoon. Jack to me is a very good at technical issues, or at least from the interview. In the afternoon, I checked in with Jack a couple of times and he said there was no problems. Based on my value system, he should give me an update by the end of the day so that I could update the progress of the project. Of course, he didn't.
Now my perspective kicked in and I got emotional. I started to think bad about Jack subconsciously. Then I thought it over and managed to calm myself down: He didn't do the communication very well (quite new) and he might already have take care of it. I should gather all the facts on Monday before jumping into any conclusion about him.
This did make me more peaceful. After all, it's a good common best practice.
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